Posted 2/25/2011 at 1:00 pm by
Tyler Trykowski
In this week’s titillating Trailer Park, we use a thesaurus to learn exciting new words for “sexy,” then Ed Helms from The Hangover busts in with a brand new face tat and redefines the entire meaning of the word for us. Then female surfers do the exact same thing, except they do it straight to DVD, which makes it less sexy, but still a lot sexier than the MILFs of Cougar Hunting, who actually just end up teaching us what “desperate” means. This week’s edition is packed with more vocabulary words than your average episode of Sesame Street, with at least double the sexy action.
Blue Crush 2
Sharni Vinson, Elizabeth Mathis, Gideon Emery
We already knew that hot chicks who surf = box office returns. What about hot chicks who surf… straight to DVD? No, that doesn’t work the same way. Soul Surfer is one of those movies you settle for, where you’re at the ticket counter and you really wanted to see Juno 2 or whatever but it’s almost sold out and you don’t feel like craning your neck from the front row of the theater, so you settle for hot chicks in bikinis. Same principals don’t apply at Best Buy, when you’re shopping for DVDs. Early market research (that we’re kind of making up) indicates the number of consumers who will actually head to a retailer solely to purchase Blue Crush 2 will be: 5, 5 consumers. Which is the same number of consumers who actually liked the original Blue Crush and bought it on DVD. So there’s a market here, at least.
The Hangover 2
Everyone from the first one, plus a Monkey
Oh hell yes. Ed Helms with a face tat? Check. Drunken adventures in an exotic foreign country? Check. Monkey humor? Check. Please give us one possible reason to not like how this looks so far, because we have none. Honestly, you could probably put Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifinakis together in about 14 more sequels to this and they’d still be hilarious. And they will, no doubt, because that’s just the natural way of things, but who’s complaining? You? Yeah, you? What’s your deal? Lighten up, man. Just look at that monkey! The inevitable poop-throwing jokes are going to be historic.
Cougar Hunting
Matt Prokop, Randy Wayne, Jillian Murray
If you’re desperate enough for tail that you and your buddies decide to take a roadtrip to Aspen, Colorado to go “cougar hunting,” you’re doing it wrong. You probably smell like the crushed-up Fritos you rolled over and slept in last night, and maybe you should consider brushing your teeth. But then again, lots of women make a career out of sleeping with wealthy men, so… gender equality? You get yours, bros. Just don’t get that Fixodent on the nightstand confused with the lube, because that just makes for a sticky situation. Not that we’d know or anything.
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