Avery is a prolific, award winning brewery located in Colorado. I’ve been a fan of theirs for many years and would probably put a couple of their beers in my top ten, but even that doesn’t fully contextualize my affection for this brewery. Given the opportunity, I would gladly forsake my own parents for the chance to be adopted by Avery Brewing. If they made a bottle with a slightly wider neck, I could probably punt my marriage as well, if you know what I mean.
If I was in possession of their last bottle of Mephistopheles Ale and was faced with the decision to either consume it or douse my flame-engulfed child, I would still pour it on my kid….but she wouldn’t leave for the ER until I had licked her clean.
The Mephistopheles Ale is part of Avery’s “Demon” series of beers, one of many themed suites of beers they put out. I’m not sure what convinced them to celebrate devils and dictators with their beers, but I’ll abide anything that isn’t another terrible sniglet using “hops.”
On the off-chance they are looking to make any new additions to those themed beers, I have a few names I’d like to toss in for consideration:
Demons of Ale Series:
Whenever people picture a demon they inevitably conjure up some fanged humanoid with a sinister glow in its eyes. Or if you’re the producers of the Spawn movie, an outerworldly weasel with alopecia:
I’d like to see a demon beer that pays tribute to a version that is a bit more familiar, if no less grounded in reality:
The Dictator Series:
Religious Series:
It doesn’t make sense to suggest an addition to their fully-populated “Holy Trinity Of Ales”, but I honestly can’t pass up a chance to blaspheme:
New World Porter (6.7% ABV)
The “New World Porter” is a beer aimed to commemorate Christopher Columbus for his intrepid discovery of America. Or it might be for Amerigo Vespucci whose journey predated that of Columbus. Or the Norse as led by Leif Ericson 500 years prior. Or, strictly speaking, the indigenous people who crossed the Beringia land bridge and populated America long before any white people commuted there. The New World was really kind of a used-up skank by the time Columbus got there.
This dark, opaque brown porter has a foamy, dark tan head. The roasted malts and coffee you’d expect from a porter are present, but any aromas from the label’s purported dry-hopping aren’t coming through for me. Avery, I’m not calling you a liar, but the odds of me loaning you any money are quickly diminishing.
The smokiness of this beer is quite prominent. Though it is pretty light in mouthfeel, the big flavors of coffee grounds, pepper and tobacco really come through. The finish has a light caramelized flavor, but it still resolves pretty dry.
I don’t know if this will entice or deter most, but the experience of this beer reminds me a lot of smoking a cigar. It’s got heavy and occasionally sweet flavors that bite and leave your mouth a bit parched. It actually improves on the experience by not forcing me to evade my cigar-hating wife until I’ve boiled my smoking attire, rinsed my mouth with medical-grade listerine and had a GATTACA-style pumice shower.
This is quite good, especially for the price point.
IPA (6.5% ABV)
Avery’s IPA ejects a thick, webby head from its golden amber goodness. It has a flowery smell, but for an IPA it’s pretty mild. That said, sometimes it’s kind of nice to sample the aromas of an IPA when it’s not trying to ramrod fistfuls of garden clippings in your nostril. Maybe this IPA is more the cool, reserved type that’s not afraid to romance me a little bit. Sure, I may rebuke its advances at first, but soon even my resolve wili crumble from its suave and sophisticated ways. Oh, Avery IPA, take me now!
There’s a nice bready backbone on this that caries the floral and grassy hop notes to an oily finish. It hits all the core IPA flavor notes and retains a fair amount of drinkability. It suffers a bit from not hitting a major crescendo in any dimension, but there’s no denying it is very tasty.
Out of Bounds Stout (6.3% ABV)
I’ve always thought that “skiing out of bounds” was a fantastic euphemism for anal sex, but I never could quite get it to catch on. I don’t really have anything else to say about that apart from defying you to think of anything else when I mention the name of this beer below.
The Out of Bounds (wink-wink!) Stout is an opaque, dark brown with a beady, light-tan head. The nose has touches of roasted malt and a little nuttiness, but is not overly abundant.
Roasty flavors really dominate the Out of Bounds (*snerk!*) Stout. It has a nice espresso flavor that punctuates things along with some charcoal and a non-descript citrus hop note as well. It has a thin to moderate mouthfeel, which flirts with not being full enough to satisfy, but keeps this qualified for sessioning.
It would probably make a great post-skiing beer with its warm, roasted flavors. I don’t know how it would pair with anal, though.
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